A Princess with a Tilted Tiara

by Oct 5, 2020Blog0 comments

It was my kindergarten graduation ceremony when I was asked that one question that we all were asked…”What do you want to be when you grow up?” My unexpected answer?

“A Princess!” [btw, my parents were definitely NOT surprised by this!]

Oh, the life of a princess meant so much to me! I would have fancy clothes, wear a tiara, have a nice home, have someone take care of me. I could eat ice cream and read books all the time. I could twirl in fancy dresses as I danced. It would be a magical life.

Guess what? It didn’t turn out that way.

My tiara is tilted from my life experiences. I still love pretty sparkly baubles, dresses, and twirling! I also love adventures like hiking the 93-mile Wonderland Trail around Mt. Rainier for 12 days carrying a 30 lb pack (well, maybe that 30 lb pack I didn’t love so much!) while wearing the same clothes and not showering until we got home. There was beauty and freedom in that adventure.

I also got divorced, been miserable at times in my career, made really poor dating decisions, and even ended up getting a restraining order against one of them. I also faced the challenge of raising my daughters on a single income and picking a tick out from my youngest scalp (so gross). That was not a princess’s life I thought I wanted. Yet, the one I got is just what it was supposed to be. I’m stronger and more courageous because of the challenges, imperfections, and curveballs thrown my way.

What we want to be and who we are at age 5 is in our core. It doesn’t go away, but life likes to layer a bunch of crap on top of it over the years to hide the beautiful essence of our innocence.

Here is what I do know:

I can be the person that takes care of myself AND I can ask for help from others.
I can create the life I want by pursuing a career that lights me up and provides the financial means to support my princess’s values.

I can twirl in my blue jeans or a fancy dress to music anytime I want because it makes me happy.

I can live in a small home and still have it be my nice pretty ‘castle’.

I can kiss a few frogs and finally meet my prince without giving up my self-identity.
Here is what I know about you:

What you wanted around age 5 is important!

Your journey is what it is supposed to be; there are gifts of wisdom in the challenges you face.
Embrace your tilted crown…no one is perfect, so embrace your messy life.

You can create the life you want to have by having a dream and make choices that support it.

You can do hard things and still have joy in your life.

Take some time this week to look at who you were as a child and start noticing what you loved about that kid. This kid deserves a bunch of empathy as well. When you start criticizing yourself for not getting something right, imagine you are talking to your younger self. Would you say those words to that child? Probably not, so don’t say them to yourself today. You deserve kindness, not harsh criticism. Give yourself a hug instead.

Email me what you discovered about your 5-year-old self. Share with me:

What wisdom have you gained?
What about your 5-year-old self have you forgotten and want to honor again?
Are you stuck with this quest? I can help you discover your wisdom and slay the dragons of self-doubt and inner-criticism so you live the life you dreamed based on what is most important to you.

Let’s slay some dragons together!


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You don’t need to navigate this on your own.

I’ve got you.