How to Ground Yourself when You’re Experiencing a Spiral of Change vs Spiraling Out of Control
It’s been a BIG month of changes for me.
I’ve moved to a new neighborhood, my family has grown by three new people and three pets, I’m learning a new role at work, my coaching certification program completed, the family property I co-own is about to be sold that’s been in our family for 90+ years and the home I have lived in for the past 6 years has a mutually accepted offer pending.
I really wish I could say I have sailed through this with calm emotions and it’s been a breeze to get through. I would be flat out lying to you. The truth is, I’ve been on a wide roller coaster of emotions from joy to grief. I have stormed out of my house and cried in my car, I have cried on a conference call, I cried while eating a bowl of chicken soup. I have also done a lot of things to avoid feeling any emotions like scrubbing kitchen cabinets, ripping ivy vines out of the garden, scrolling through Facebook way too much. I have also experienced lots of moments of laughter, joy, and celebration surrounded by people who love me.
And guess what?
IT’S ALL NORMAL
as we go through a spiral of change! We are emotional human beings and we get to give ourselves permission to experience the full range of emotions and move through them. As a seashell spiral grows bigger, the shell also gets stronger. I feel that with each cycle of moving through an emotion and honoring it for what it is, it’s informing me about what I am learning and my shell grows. I can handle bigger edges in my growth and take bigger risks in my personal and professional life. For instance, I used to think that if I expressed any emotions, I would either spiral out of control and succumb to them. I would live in fear of expressing them because I would be judged as too much to handle so I put on a facade that I had it all together. None of this was healthy coping mechanisms for me. Instead, I’ve learned (and continue to learn) how to expand my emotional spiral vs succumb to spiraling out.
Here are some things I want to share with you that may help if you’re going through emotional spirals:
I lean into relationships with people I trust that will hold compassionate space for me so I can safely share the joy or sorrow without judgement by them. It’s a small circle who has earned this trust and can keep what I am processing in a cone of confidence.
Expressing through words what I am feeling taps into an inner wisdom that my brain wants to shut off sometimes. I also write what I am grateful for every night before I go to bed. This helps me to appreciate what I do have in my life to help ground me on what is real vs stories I may be telling myself.
Here’s a link to Amazon for the type of journal I use. Check it out if this sounds interesting to you. Personally, I needed an easy and non-time consuming option, so this journal has space to only write down one or two things to be grateful for each day. Bonus…you get to look back on the prior years and see what happened up to five years ago on that exact day.
- Essential Oils: I have found that incorporating essential oils into my self-care routine allows me a tangible way of naming the emotion I am feeling since the act of applying the oil helps me acknowledge what emotion is occurring inside and better manage the stress. My dear friend and colleague, Cynthia Maloney, helped me explore an alternative way of understanding how stress impacts the body and the deeper of understanding of emotions. Here a link to access her free eBook with 10 ways stress impacts your body. I highly recommend checking it out or trying out essential oils. My favorite oil I apply nightly before I go to bed is called Balance to keep me grounded in my body and emotions.
- Sleep: I know I tend to get way more emotional when I don’t get enough sleep. Which is kind of ironic in this moment, since it’s almost 11 pm and I am up writing my blog. But naps are AMAZING! Don’t overestimate the short power nap and giving yourself permission to get rest.
I’ll leave you with this gratitude I am feeling right now…