Softening as Your Superpower; White Knuckling it No More

by Oct 14, 2021Blog, Courageous Leadership, Inspiration, Leadership

It’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed with life right now. Demands of work, family, world issues can activate a feeling of not having enough time or energy to “do it all”. It can also activate a feeling of isolation where you need to show the world that “I Got This” so others don’t see you gripping the steering wheel of life. Maybe you are trying to hang on too tightly to everything and white-knuckling your way through it. Do you feel the tightness in the neck and shoulders constricting? Do you wish you could get a massage right now? I do!


Here’s what I believe happens when the gripping state of “I got this” takes over:

  • It limits the potential for what’s possible.
  • It fosters worry, anxiety, and doubt
  • It shuts down play, creativity, and joy
  • It feels hard
  • It creates push energy to get things done
  • It activates control and struggle
  • It can lead to isolation

Sound familiar?

What if there is a fresh perspective for “I got this”? A softer version. One where it embraces and supports you. It allows you to loosen the tight grip on the steering wheel AND you get to still do all that you want to do.

holding hands in a circle

Here’s what I believe happens when “I got this” softens into “We got this”

  • It opens up connections with others
  • It fosters confidence because you are supported
  • It pulls you forward
  • It opens up the heart and authenticity flows in
  • It unleashes creativity
  • It activates ease and flow
  • It creates connection

This shift is possible when you notice the constriction and choose to share it with someone else. When I vulnerably share that I feel the constriction of fear, doubt, or control creep up, it instantly releases its hold on me. Just naming it the first step in releasing the white knuckles.

Here are steps you can take to loosen the grip and embrace a softer way of being:

Recognizing that it’s happening. Name it to claim it!

Notice where in your body you’re feeling the tightness

Give yourself compassion for being in it because you’re having a human experience

Be vulnerable by sharing with someone who can hear your concerns and help you brainstorm some ideas that don’t require you to ‘do it all’.

Share briefly your fears, doubts, and obstacles. By briefly, I mean bullet points, not a novel. 🙂

Now shift into listing out all possible ideas to move forward

Select one to focus on and go after it! Everything else is cherry on top If they get implemented!

Share with your person from above and celebrate!

From here, you are empowered to move through the “I Got This” with support rather than white-knuckling yourself through the vortex of fear, doubt, worry, or stress. You’re not alone even if you are the one in the driver’s seat. You’re invited into embracing a softer version.