Why is the New How

by Jan 11, 2021Blog

What would it feel like to hear less “noise” about how to change your life right now?

The last few weeks, something has been brewing inside of me that I have to share. I have reached my limit with the constant emails of offers coming through my email. Especially the ones that start with the subject of “How to …”.

This past week alone, I received over a dozen emails with subjects like these:

👉  How to clarify your goals for 2021

👉  How to set your resolutions for 2021

👉  How to get your numbers ready for your bookkeeper by Feb 15t

👉  How to have a new relationship with X<Y< or Z

👉  How to have a 6 figure income!

👉  How to throw up (okay, not this one, but at some point, I felt this way getting all the emails this time of year!)

My head was pounding. Stop! Something was triggering me deeply and my body was reacting. I quieted my mind and got curious. I started asking myself, “Why am I feeling this way?” The answer quickly emerged. I didn’t want to get pulled into thinking that I don’t know enough!

Don’t get me wrong, a good tactical “How” is wildly needed sometimes… and I appreciate the intent that goes into all the messages offered right now. I get it and understand this because we all think there is a “better how.” What if a better and more compelling “why” were the way to the life we want?

Because when we have a compelling “why,” our “how” becomes less important and sometimes becomes irrelevant. Some experts say, “how” should not design our life because it can leave you feeling inadequate and not enough. “Why” and “What” are way more exciting perspectives. For instance, the questions “Why is this irritating you?” and “What do you need right now?” gives you a chance to look within and explore your feelings and what YOU need.

And let me offer one more thought on this, all the emails I received this week about “how” had this fascinating “unintended impact” on me. They sent me into a sense of “I don’t know enough, I am not doing enough, I should know this by now, or even a sense of I am not enough!” I know the folks who are offering these “how’s” are well-intentioned and well-meaning; heck, I think I have sent out a message or two with this intent, yet I want to offer a different perspective on all this. Begin with WHY (thank you, Simon Sinek) and the how’s begin to reveal themselves about what is essential in your life.

So next time you receive a message leading with “How,” ask yourself, “why is/isn’t this important?”. Knowing the answer will lead you to clarify whether or not the “How” is compelling enough to explore and will it fill in the gap of what you need.

What you focus your intention on receives your attention. Choose wisely.

All the best in this messy and imperfect world,

Taryn Laakso